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God Bless the Beatles IV
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Silver Screen Previews
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Rating: * *
Plot Synopsis: It's the battle of the blow-dryers
with this kooky, inane look at one's obsession with hairspray. Memorable moments in this feature film include breaking into
random song every five minutes, and a scene where Ringo sets his afro on fire. We give this picture two stars.
Rating: *
Plot Synopsis: It's summertime all year long
on the English coastline (for we all know how sunny *England* is), and lifeguard Dex Muscledude is running the show.
No drowning seagles are going down on this watch! Dex's girlfriend, Pamela Bigboobs makes regular appearances running, aimlessly
along the beach and jumping on conveniently placed trampolines. One star for seeing George's character, Dex, topless in
most of the series.
Rating:
Plot Synopsis: This gang related street movie
features its lone star, Dominic, who participates in local drag-races and picking up women in bikinis. He's fast. He's furious.
And he *loves* special effects, that lead to hours in lack of character developement, and general plot iniquities. No
story line. And no particular ending. Just a bunch of cars, and really hot chicks. Zero stars for this clearly guy-action
film.
Rating: * * * *
Plot Synopsis: Paul McCartney stars in
this broadway rendition of an old, big-screen classic. Little Harold Hill is an aspiring musician, who can't sing, can't dance,
but sure can play the hell out of that tamborine. Watch his journey to stardom, at becoming the world's greatest tamborinest...ever.
Plot Synopsis: From the Toppermost to the Guttermost. Ringo Starr gives us
an inside look at his climb to stardom, to digging up Whoppers at the Burger King dumpster. Booze, women, sex, scandel...whoppers.
Hear it all, from the man who lived the dream.
Plot Synopsis: Meet Jesse James and the crew, a buncha' crime-living
outlaws who spend their days shooting pigmees and raping apple pies. It's the American dream.......and they're from Britain.
Ebert and Roeper call it "pointless" and "rather offensive" but we give it two stars (not every British cowboy can take down
a pigmee like that).
Plot Synopsis: From the very first scene where we witness Sir Paul McCartney,
himself, sitting in a bathroom, singing, "I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and gaaaay" you instantly know
this is a true-to-life work of brilliance. The Paul McCartney Stalkers Association brings us this first-party perspective
on Paul McCartney, the man. They'll take you through a day in the life of England's most notorious publicity monkey,
and it's quite the wild ride. Five stars. Phenominal.
Plot Synopsis: Held at gunpoint, Stuart Shepard is trapped in
a phone booth (that in many ways, resembles his home) and his only way out, is to confess his sins. Will the derranged sniper
hiding in the backyard shoot him? Is Stuart really in a phone booth at all? Or is the phone booth merely just a metaphor for...you
get the picture. Get some chills and watch this psychological thriller today.
Plot Synopsis: Wolverine needs to teach Storm a lesson. Who says mutants
can't be sexy?
Plot Synopsis: AARRGGH Maties! This home-made Beatles documentary was taped
one Saturday night, in a very drunken state of mind. Watch the lads take on a number of copyright infringements as John
Lennon ("Captain Ahab") and the crew voyage the seven seas in search of Aladin's gold.
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