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Hi, hello, and fuck you. I am Martha, aka the ugly-ass sheepdog of Paul's from the later '60s. Steel alive. Steel keeking.
For a span of over 30 years, I disappeared into vast isolation, out of the public eye and away from your hearts. During said
time, I mostly stuck to lower end Mexeecan bars, drinking cheap tequila, and listening to Jimmy Buffet's "Magaritaville" waaay
too many times. It was an endless cycle of alcohol, inebriation, Cuban cigars, and cheap chuahwawa hooker sex. But after 30
years, I cleaned up. Said goodbye to the body shots, and that donkey, Paco. And returned into the media, where I now insult
current celebrities for a living. My ties to Paul have finally benefeeted me, and now, I can finally relax in my Cancun penthouse,
rolling in thee Benjeemens. Welcome to Martha's world.
If you seem to think I have too much built in aggression, than fuck you! How would you like playing
fetch with one of the biggest fucktards for thirty odd years? I hate-a the current stars, now hear me bark.
Clay Aiken, you fucking pussy. I haven't seen a looser wrist since magical Roy got mauled by a tiger.
Why are you so sad, Justin Timberlake? I'm sure you'll heet puberty in a few years. Cameron Diaz, the fucking weasel,
has a deeper voice than you.
Ahh, Britney. I would have made out with you, before you kissed Madonna. Now, it's not worth catching the clap.
Ashton Kutcher, you're okay in my book. How many of us can honestly say you never got drunk one Saturday night and
banged a few grannies?
Sean Paul. Ada Ada Boodi Ponda Riva Dutty Ea. Look. I speak retard too.
Beyonce. I used to have the same problem as you; people always treating me like a piece of ass. Then, I stopped dressing
like a $3 chuahwawa hooker.
Congratulations, Paris. How does it feel to be famous for something besides being rich?
Jennifer Lopez has a new perfume. The old fragrance, entitled "Ass" didn't do so well, but we all have high expectations
for "Skank".
Jessica Simpson, you're personallity is as real as Pamela Lee's tits. Next time you feel the urge to speak, chug a liter
of bleach and cyanide, or freebase some liquid plumber.
Current sex icons these days have taken a liking to dressing like hobos and drug dealers. Just contact Frederico up there,
I'm sure he can score you some smack.
Heelary Duff. First cartoon gone actress gone pop star. You're still seven steps away teel porno. Enjoy your last
few years of untainted fame.
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